Her whiskers touch my hand. She eats gently out of the palm of my hand. Young one. Brave one. Gentle and so powerful.
Looking back , I see how I had no understanding in that younger mind of mine of how this four footer could have chosen me, could have loved me so dearly from day one. To me it had seemed so clear back then that I had just taken too much hay on my fork – as usual – by inviting this little ball of fierce energy in to my life and now I had to deal with it.
Being here with her now I wonder if it is not she who took too much hay on her fork by coming in to my life.
My Angel.
The drums of nature are calling. My angel is speaking. She speaks through the curiousness of her eyes. Through eternal listening. Through her constant invitation of pure awareness and boundless peace.
I am still learning her language. Or unlearning the old language, as she calls it.
Her language is in her ways.
“Learn my ways and you will learn new things”. The first sentence she ever spoke to me.
The light is bright. The candle flickers higher than what should be possible. Its spark illuminates the night.
“That little light, that little spark, hold on to that”, she motions with her paw.
“Watch it grow, watch it flicker, watch it sparkle, let it take over, let it burn down all that which is overgrown and overbearing, carry it with you in the night, hold it in your heart, see it in your mind, know that the only focus you need is that light, that one light, that one flickering luminous flame.”
“The flame that so many are afraid of shall be hidden no more. It is burning and it will only burn stronger and stronger the coming years, decades and centuries.”
“ Those who hide their flames will be choked by their own smoke. Literally. It is already happening. Dim your light and you feel the inner claustrophobia creeping in. Shut the door of your soul and you fall ill. Soul ill. You feel betrayed. Trapped. You look outside for the reasons. You trace your days, years, decades, centuries back for explanations. You want to understand.”
“There is nothing to be understood. There is a hatch to be opened. A door to be blown wide open by a storm so fierce that the magma of Vattnajökull diminishes in comparison. All you are to do is to hand over the key. Hand it back to the soul. Be bold! You cannot hold back what is meant to be. What already is. Open! Stand! Be bold!”
Saga sits down, places her pen next to her well worn notebook, looks out the window. The breeze is picking up, a gentle snowfall is on its way. You can tell by the slight greying of the sky, by the way the birds are dancing through the air towards the bird feeder, even by the sound of the wind through the kitchen fan.
Why had she not thought about that before? “I am an Architect of Magic”.
“Because through thinking you would never have arrived there. In that space of insight of who you are, of what you are here to share with the world my dear.”
The large, white wolf settles down next to her. The way they share space has always been like something out of this world. From day one.
“ I am an Architect of Magic”, Saga says it out loud again.
“Do you remember that stanza which came to you last year? The one which also begins with “I am”?”
Who is that outside the door? Who is speaking? Saga gets up, walks towards the front door, sensing there is more to who is there than she can imagine. Before her hand touches the door handle she remembers. The strophe rushes in through consciousness like a leaf in the gust.
“I am a Force of Nature. I am Power and Stillness in One!” she yells out as she opens the door.
Alba and Rosie! The two girls laugh, hug and cry at the same time. Rosie runs indoors, howls and performs the regular greeting dances, of course including the “hello I love you awesome to see you let me bite your fur and tug at your neck and throw you to the ground as you throw me to the ground good to see you or did I say that already ” wrestling game with AshWhite.
A few moments later the wolves and humans are gathered in a huge pile on the floor in front of the fireplace, where the open fire for this Midwinter Equinox has been crackling since the early MorningStar hours already. The wind picks up. Large, thick, soft snowflakes are being spun and swirled around in a dance even more intricate than the one the golden sky dragons performed a few days ago. Moonstones and pinecones are laid down on the altar. The four souls are singing together.
I am an Architect of Magic
Fire and Ice I am
Born of Earth and Space
Wild Moon Child I am
I am a Force of Nature
I am Power and Stillness in One
I am an Architect of Magic
Sacred Fierceness the staff
Pinecones and Moonstones the source
of
Space and Earth
of
Earth and Space
of
The Promise of Meru´s Wisdom
I am an Architect of Magic
All that I am is Here
Now
Three words drift through space. Whispered. Mahakash. Mahakash. Mahakash. Seven times.
First Quarter Moon. Action. Light a candle. Settle in to the right position. So many steps to take before beginning. Before start.
Procrastination. Not during this moon phase. Totally impossible.
If there is one thing to leave behind on the other side of this moon it is procrastination.
“Stay close. Lean in, and you will always know what the next step is. And that is all you need to know. The next step”.
“Wish for snowflakes and listen to the cue. Just go with it. No matter how “out there” it might sound to you. And do you know what? “Out there” is actually really good. Out of that comfort zone, which by the way is not really comfortable at all, it is basically numb, feeling-less, unfulfilled, given in-ness space. Not the space where you want to live, be, act, love, learn and unlearn my dear”.
Alba found herself chuckling before Rosie could this time. How much wisdom and wit – is that witdom? – could she possibly handle in this short amount of time? The wolf kept delivering bout after bout of these every time they had settled in to something close to mind rest. How fast could you actually shift before totally losing track of yourself?, Alba wondered.
“Nothing to keep track of my dear, and no your-self either”, Rosie won this chuckle set. “Remember? Stay in the movement !”.
“Action is basically accelerated movement. Which is why it is pretty effortless to take action once you are in tune with the eternal movement of everything, as well as the eternal non movement underneath that. In essence “you” are being moved while the deeper “You” stays where “it” is. In the all and everything. In the Great AllEncompassing Space.”
“That Space is here on Earth, experiencing itself through all the facets of the diamond. So it is actually not Earth & Space, it is EarthSpace. Or SpaceEarth.”
“How about this as a game for the coming week – look at everything you experience, every thing, be it through your senses, your thoughts, in your dreams, wherever and whatever and try to define whether it exist in and of itself or always in relation to something or someone else. What a fun game during these dark winter nights eh?”. Another loud chuckle.
“And don’t let me get started on what “existence” is! Now Rosie almost fell over from chuckling. “You shall discover something entirely different about that too before the end of this. And by the way, there is no such thing as an end but now I am leaving you to it. Or me out of it.” The chuckling was now so loud it transformed in to a howl.
There she was. EveningStar. Polaris. Travelling towards MorningStar. Movement in Stillness. Star. Maakash.
The trees seem to fall down. Yet they are not. They are buried in deep, deep snow. Dragons dance above like garlands of stars.
It is seven days since they left the Glen, ahead of the morning star.
Up and up and up they went. Through dim top valleys, raging ravines and chest high mountain birch brushes. Over the tops of the Three Wishes. Down the Dark Valley of Hidden Wisdom. Back up the Mountain of Doom.
After the last bend they had all expected to see something entirely different than what was born in front of their eyes up there on the Diamond Step. As they turned that last bend they found themselves where they had only heard about in legends. Right at the “eye” of the Ursa Major . Alioth and Merak pointing the way to the path to Polaris.
“Polaris”, Rosie sighed. “Home”
Alba could feel the word ringing in her heart, in some strong, strange type of harmony. What was that? How could a star so far away yet so close by feel like home? How could this desolate place where their feet were placed feel like home?
“Because it is not desolate my dear Alba”, Rosie said. “Look at all the magic. Look up!”
Magic spun through the wisdom of choice of voice of being
Gold Silver and Granite
Take what is yours Leave the rest behind
The song of the elves, the dragons and reindeer versifying the scenery of snow, trees and stars. Are they creating it as they are singing? At least it feels like that to Alba.
“They are their own creation, all around them is their own creation, they are all what we – or you humans – are learning that you are dear Alba”, Rosie chuckled. “To take responsibility of and now truly be your own creation. That is why Polaris, these mountains, the wilderness feels like home. Because that is what you are and hence you create it and it creates you and so on, love creates what it loves – and hates creates what it hates, which is the other side of the medal in the field of duality – , love recognises it or actually recognises itself and more is created. This is your dream. Where you live and I live, in consciousness in this moment. That is why we are here together. Right here, right now. Let’s get to know more about our fellow beings here in this place!”
Soft, gentle bells swirling through the air. Snowflakes embracing the air.
The Queen of Light has arrived. She is the priestess of deep love and true connection. She explains in all her beingness that the road to deep love and true connection can be both simple and complicated. That it is never one of the two. That it is a flow, a braid of the simplicity mixed with complexities. It is a practice she says.
“Three roads lead to heaven, an endless number of roads lead to hell”, the voice at the top of the mountain holding her presence explains. “Let me just clear the largest misunderstanding first before I go on”.
The voice moves closer. Clears its throat, or at least that’s what it sounds like to human ears. The open fire crackles and climbs higher towards The Milky Way as if it is responding with its burning light to the gently powerful light emanating from the mountain.
“The word “hell”. It is not a place. It is not someplace evil. It is a state of mind. We all live, breathe and exist in a state of mind. The rest is just props, like in a theatre. And so is heaven. A state of mind.”
“Let us get back to the word “hell”. It derives from the same root as the words whole, heal and even holy. Listen to so many of your Nordic languages – “hel”, “hela”, “helig”, “holy”, “whole”, “heel”, “helen”, “heal”, I can go on and on and on. So know that when you are in the state of mind of “hell” you are on the road to all of that. To wholeness. You are healing. Sometimes it seems you humans just have to go through a lot of that to get to the roads to “heaven”. “
“This is where the power of choice comes in again. When you recognize that you are in the state of mind of “hell”, you can choose to take a step on a different road. Just one little step will make a huge difference. Every part of every braid has been created in small steps . Every river has etched itself into the earth in small molecular steps, mixed with floods.”
The fire starts dancing, only to seconds later settle down in a beautiful golden glow.
“The three roads to heaven are Peace, Love and Understanding. From all sides of the multifacetted diamond. From inside and outside. When you find yourself in a precarious place, reach within, start with creating peace from within for yourself, send yourself love. From there search for understanding. When the glimpse of understanding is there Love with a capital L opens up.”
” Of course there is no wrong or right way to approach this. You can start with Love, you can start with Understanding, you can start with Peace, you can choose to pick just one and always stick with that one. They are all One. One cannot exist without the other.”
A soft piano tune starts dancing its way out of the mountain in to the cold winter night.
“”Everyone heals in their own way”, remember?”, the voice whispers in everyones soul simultaneously.
and falls so hard it leaves no mercy of breath at all.
We fall and we climb and we fall and we climb. Feeling numb from pain and shock . Looking up, feeling in awe of the stars above and the strength in our legs.
Dread and heartache, hand in hand with awe and an explosion of love for self.
“Get up before dawn. Let the dawn choose you. Walk. Just walk and see what is. It works. It truly works.”
The whispers are not from outside of you, they come from inside. The one who knows lives there. Always has, always will.
“Move with your Hara. Hara holds the heart. Hara holds expansion. Hara holds holding itself. Try it out. Play with it. You might even walk with Hara at dawn.”
14:14
Author: Cecilia Götherström / Pejuta Wakinyazi, inspired after a deep conversation with a very dear friend 15/12 2023
“So many cues, yet it seems you don’t know how to start. Pretty silly actually as how you start is not important. Nothing could matter less. The only thing that matters is that you start”, she says in her matter of fact way, Do-ris the deer
“It is important to experience joy”, the radio speaks in between.
“And now you jump in to fear and pressure, realizing that no, you probably have not allowed yourself to experience joy the past months, you have filled it all up with the so called important things and joy was not on that list. The only thing you feel now is that you are not even living up to allowing yourself to feel joy. Down in the basement the elevator goes. Oh, was it already in the basement? Hmmmmm…. can it maybe move sideways down there? Bog itself deeper in the mud of pressure and anxiety? No? Not possible? Well, that’s at least awesome!”
Up head the ravens and crows are having their usual dusk discussions. Who is sitting where, in what tree, why, why not, goodnight and all that.
Do-ris is looking out at me from across the snow filled glen.
“Let your wings unfold, shake them, let them drop around you like a cape filled with the warm holding of all the angelic light beings surrounding you. The entire choir of Sacred Fierceness. It is time to see that only darkness can hold the light, the stars in the sky. And the closer to the light, the lighter the darkness. The darker the darkness, the more intense the light.”
I stand up, reach my arms out and up, swirl, turn, bow.
“Angel wings of open fire. Fill me with my heart’s desire. Numbness leaves this heart of mine. Song of Joy, thy will be done.”
FlowerOfTheThunderAndLightning 