Transmissions of Starlight / 18

We went into the woods to be baptized by the trees. Over and over again. Bowing under ash, dancing under cedar, reaching for oak, hiding under willow, laughing with pine, sitting under beech, healing through birch, cocooning under elm. Every breath a baptism.

Do you remember how the trees actually found us? You wanted to head for the ocean and I pulled you towards the trees. Do you remember biking under them to get to the open fields? I sang to make you stop and sense them there right underneath their canopy.

Do you remember how their leaves turned yellow, bright, red, golden, orange ? Like they showed us the multidimensionality of every single essence which grows. The sides which turn in the wind and look different from every direction.

Do you remember them bearing fruit? And how every new entry to ,and every exit out of , the woods had its ritual of me devouring at least one of those fruits?

Do you remember that there is actually not a lot to remember aside from that we were, we are, together? That it was how our journey together started? And it will never end. As it is a journey on a thread of many journeys. Might feel like it has a beginning and an end, yet all it has is a continuity. A continuity of that which holds it. Life. Light. Power. The Force.

Do you remember driving through all the trees to find me? To pick me up? How it felt like home once you entered the pine forests? How you loved the birches, ashes, oaks et al and that love turned to passion and homecoming when the pines started lining the road?

That is the continuity I want you to follow. 

The continuity of the continuity of space, passion, life. You. Trinity. Power, Stillness and Presence. Smack right in the continuity of Space, Passion and Life.

If that ain’t an instruction for the New Chapter, I don’t know what is. And I, I know everything. I am Starlight.

Cecilia Götherström, Kringlans AdventsKalender 2022

For H… – and for M

I wrote this piece, for H and for M, in January of 2014. At a time where I could finally get closure on what happened 16 years earlier.

Today, in July of 2019, I can finally feel the true healing happening, thanks to SiStarHood galore. 

You will always be in my heart. In my every smile.

Thank you.

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You arrived with a bunch of our “season-friends”,
smile from cheek to cheek
as if you had swallowed the sun.

My heart fluttered,
euphoria
“He is here”, “he really came”

A wonderful summer could not come to a better end.

More than a hundred very special people,
connected in ways most outsiders never would understand
gathered in the evening sun this day in August.

Short speech,
the bar open,
the band playing,
the buffet inviting everyone to celebrate.

The air was alive,
the hearts were filled to the brim,
the beer was cold.

“Will you come with me?”
“Yes”, I whispered.

Your hands were warm.

“Tonight I have to host this party but tomorrow I am all yours.
We have the rest of our lives ahead of us”.

My words held a promise.

Two souls,
young, fearless and bright
amidst this crowd of connected spirits,
snowflakes being our glue.

It is night.

I lie here curled up against his body.
My face drowning in his naked chest,
my whole being shivering, quaking.

I try to breathe slow,
but I can´t.

One ear rests against his heart,
taking in the constant “thuck, thuck, thuck”,
the powerful blood,
the elixir of life pumping through his veins,
so alive,
so strong,
so real.

My other ear is listening to a different “thuck, thuck, thuck”,
the sound of the heavy coast guard helicopter,
surveilling the dark waters,
looking for your body,
so eerie,
yet so real.

Heart.
Helicopter.
Heart.
Helicopter.
Heart.
Helicopter.
Bodybag.
Heart.
Soul.

Cecilia Götherström, Jan 22nd 2014