The Queen of Light has arrived. She is the priestess of deep love and true connection. She explains in all her beingness that the road to deep love and true connection can be both simple and complicated. That it is never one of the two. That it is a flow, a braid of the simplicity mixed with complexities. It is a practice she says.
“Three roads lead to heaven, an endless number of roads lead to hell”, the voice at the top of the mountain holding her presence explains. “Let me just clear the largest misunderstanding first before I go on”.
The voice moves closer. Clears its throat, or at least that’s what it sounds like to human ears. The open fire crackles and climbs higher towards The Milky Way as if it is responding with its burning light to the gently powerful light emanating from the mountain.
“The word “hell”. It is not a place. It is not someplace evil. It is a state of mind. We all live, breathe and exist in a state of mind. The rest is just props, like in a theatre. And so is heaven. A state of mind.”
“Let us get back to the word “hell”. It derives from the same root as the words whole, heal and even holy. Listen to so many of your Nordic languages – “hel”, “hela”, “helig”, “holy”, “whole”, “heel”, “helen”, “heal”, I can go on and on and on. So know that when you are in the state of mind of “hell” you are on the road to all of that. To wholeness. You are healing. Sometimes it seems you humans just have to go through a lot of that to get to the roads to “heaven”. “
“This is where the power of choice comes in again. When you recognize that you are in the state of mind of “hell”, you can choose to take a step on a different road. Just one little step will make a huge difference. Every part of every braid has been created in small steps . Every river has etched itself into the earth in small molecular steps, mixed with floods.”
The fire starts dancing, only to seconds later settle down in a beautiful golden glow.
“The three roads to heaven are Peace, Love and Understanding. From all sides of the multifacetted diamond. From inside and outside. When you find yourself in a precarious place, reach within, start with creating peace from within for yourself, send yourself love. From there search for understanding. When the glimpse of understanding is there Love with a capital L opens up.”
” Of course there is no wrong or right way to approach this. You can start with Love, you can start with Understanding, you can start with Peace, you can choose to pick just one and always stick with that one. They are all One. One cannot exist without the other.”
A soft piano tune starts dancing its way out of the mountain in to the cold winter night.
“”Everyone heals in their own way”, remember?”, the voice whispers in everyones soul simultaneously.
“There is nothing to figure out, it is all in the heart”. Wasn’t that what she’d said, how it had all begun this time around?
What if it feels like you cannot access the heart? If you cannot find the thread? If it feels like the rupture has slowly immersed itself into total discord? How do you get there then?
“There’s nowhere to get to, my child. Its all right here. I know it might be challenging to see it, but here we are again, here is that word again – “seeing”. Choose to see the heart. Be curious. If it feels like you cannot see, pretend. Be open to playing around with perspectives. Look from above, from below, from all sides and directions you can imagine and then some more. Summon your creativity to make up something new every day. One thing. Just one, over the top crazy, thing. The freedom you connect to then can only lead you back to one place, the heart.”
Alba is looking me straight in the eyes. Putting her hands on my shoulders, gripping firmly. Portals! I see portals in her eyes!
“Those portals are not in my eyes, dear child. They are in yours. Every time you look at something, see something, it is a portal. Which portals are you walking through, which are you not? Listen to the portals. With your heart.”
Is that what it means that everything is a reflection, a mirror?
“It´s more than that. It´s a mirror maze. So, now you tell mee child. What is mirroring itself? Who sees it? Summon your creativity”!
Your paws are fully grown. You are everything and nothing like your sisters at all.
What seems to me like a moment on the road to somewhere is for you an eternity of ever newness in one long moment which never passes.
Her soulfulness and joyful presence always pushes right in to my being. I do not know how to not live with her. Where she ends and I begin has dissolved.
Maybe there was never a boundary in the first place.
That little fierce puppiness which shook me awake, took hold of not just socks and toilet paper rolls but of lives, of relationships, of the senses where the inner beings meet. That.
“When you focus on separateness, that is what you get”, she says with all her being. “When you listen to the play of movement, that is what you live with”.
“The agenda might be full, but the heart cup is being filled through other means. When you put that one on top of the list watch what happens. Listen inwards. Then observe.”
The guidance from within seems to overflow as we are entering this time of guided light. Enveloped by the dark wintery skies, displaying its dance of Aurora Borealis more and more often, the Star in the Heart sparkling ever brighter, as the milky way pathway lights up, Orion, Ursa Major and many more pulsate with their brightness. This is how we enter in to the arms of the one Mother, the one Father, being held.
December.
December paws. Touching snow. Touching a promise.
Touch.
Touching the infinite being.
Through the heart.
“How do you touch through the heart?”, I hear a giggling whisper. “That is the practice. That is the exploration”.
She is teaching me
how
to love again,
how to
thaw
that coldness,
how to
trust,
through gentleness,
not forcing
She is teaching me
that
hail
is just frozen water,
that
Christmas
is in your heart,
not in a tree,
or in snow
on the ground
She is teaching me
that you can,
you should
love,
even when
your heart
seems
to be breaking
She is teaching me
to listen,
to listen,
to listen
especially when
you don’t want to
She is teaching me
about lineage,
connection,
unbroken threads
of life
weaving unbound
in to
each other
She is teaching me
about
Starlight,
remembering
gingerbread songs
in honour of the two of us
being
always
left
unbroken
She is teaching me
to be
here,
now,
in the storm,
in the power,
in the stillness
She is teaching me
her
ways
And I
I
get
to learn
Starlight
- Trinity
Cecilia Götherström, Kringlans AdventsKalender 2022
“The journey of happiness, sadness and gratitude is the gift underneath the mistletoe. When you mistake that one for the truth of who you really are, that’s when sadness wins.”
Peaking in to the depths of the cold water, she saw and heard the reindeer speak behind her, his breath creating crystals of frozen dampness in the space surrounding them.
“See, I speak on an exhalation and draw inspiration on the inhalation.”
She turned around. Placed her hands around his beautiful, large, wise cheeks. Touched her nose to his. As she said “thank you” she noticed herself becoming that “thank you”.
“Where you end and your words begin is unclear. As there is no division. How you speak so it is and so you are and so it is. Just never ever stop. Never stop as a habit. Always stay in tune with where you are, to the movement. Follow the breath, follow the heart.”
The standstill of the past times was no more. She could feel it release.
“Feel it, let go, let loose, literally loosening its grip. There is nothing to grasp any more. Nothing to hold on to.
Holding on to hurts. Moving brings flow, brings fluidity, brings choice. If you freeze in the middle of a storm you are left to endure whatever is thrown at you and you will most likely be thrown around yourself. If you can move with the storm, with the debris, you feel the storm build and subside, you can move, take a step further out when you want and need to and you can utilize the power of the storm when you need it.
You humans have forgotten how to utilize the tremendous natural powers within you, the tremendous powers of nature. It happened when you all decided to put poles in the ground and stay in one place. All of a sudden you needed protection, shelter, locks and bolts. So you bolted up your heart and your joy in the process. Go release, go girl, go!”
The reindeer turned around and danced his gentle way towards the trees on the bank of the frozen river. She watched him disappear in the distance, feeling a sense of glimmer and hope of something similar to fulfilment for the first time a very, very long while.
Like a mild summer
rain,
a waterfall of
love,
drizzling down my cheeks
Your absence and
your presence
touch me every
morning
Alone in the heart,
immersed in the everything-
ness of your being
You are there,
I am here
Yet we are
everywhere
- Cecilia Götherström, July 7th 2022
Alabaster sunk his paws deep in to the snow. He’d been up on the rocks, peeking down once more towards Pinehome City.
They were all together now. Nejla, Starlight, Tuva, Kriya, Ricky and Luca.
He could see them through his inner eyes. The two humans sitting on the floor by the Christmas tree. Sharing stories. Laughing. Remembering.
All four dogs sprawled out across the large kitchen floor.
What had once been the “Grand” waiting room in this timber wood train station building from the 1800s was now Ricky’s kitchen.
Alabaster made his way down, returning to the pack. How he loved these moments of approaching, feeling the warmth in his heart, connecting through the golden threads to his brothers, sisters, all the pups. Watching every single personality doing their thing while being in total harmony with the entire canine family.
Sure, they could growl and show off, change, walk off, start anew, return, explore. But that was because that is how things just are. If everyone is allowed to live out their purpose, harmony is what you get. And harmony includes storms, floods, falling trees, new growth.
You use the mind, heart, and soul, leading the body to the best possible solution for the highest good of all.
When you exist in a state of awareness where greed does not exist, you see everything through the eyes of Isa. The eyes of Isness.
He realized he’d let his mind wander in to the human domain again as he felt four youngsters rolling around him, asking for attention, nipping at his legs and paws.
“Come play, come play, Grandpapa Alabaster!”, they howled like a four octave choir.
“OK then!” Alabaster took off down the slope, zigzagging, jumping, rolling. Four young furballs falling over in his paw steps, doing their best to catch up.
A few of the packs hunters had just gotten back from their recon trip and joined in.
If you’ve ever seen a group of eight adult and four “just-out-of-puppyhood” wolves play on deep snow covered slope under the moon, star and sun lit winter morning sky, you know exactly what I am talking about.
Joy, aliveness, speed and wit dancing around in your heart.
Those yellow-brown soul portals watching me closely through your thick, white eyelashes.
A communication which cannot be misunderstood.
The wilderness is not savage. It is the one true connection. You might actually call it The One True Love. What I see in you is what I am, what you are, what we all are. Together.
Wilderness.
Lost touch with our own innate wilderness, many of us have. Feeling lost not because comfort is missing, but because the direct contact with the elements have gone astray.
Cold cheeks in winter, warm feet in summer, inhaling humid earth scent in spring, walking among crisp colours in autumn.
“Your serenades in the heart are the roadmap.You love the cold. Embrace that.” Elsa speaks to me.”
“Uncover! Uncover! Uncover! Be!”“ may very well be followed by “Embrace! Embrace! Embrace! Be!” “ she continues.
As always, she is right. Even though there is no wrong or right.
Asking her, she nods. She tells me to stop using those two words. She is shaking the box of words, letting many fall out through holes in the bottom, allowing space for new words to tumble in from the magic energy of this season.
“Alignment”, she says. “Choose “alignment” as your word. Then “right” and “wrong” have no charge anymore.”
FlowerOfTheThunderAndLightning 