I believe in guidance, in guidance I believe - yet, I do not seem to believe in myself
I grasp and grasp and grasp, fingernails bleeding, splinters wedged underneath them, grasping still at the outside, at confirmation that I am allowed to exist
I believe in guidance, in guidance I believe, yet I cannot seem to see what guidance tells me in this dark world around me, at this time
Darkness is there, so that we can see the Stars, StarBeing.
I understand that, yet why can I not see the stars?
Because you must wrap yourself around them, StarBeing. Allow the darkness to fold to unfold, challenge the wind, embrace the rain.
“Really let all the stardust and particles shed through your life. Don’t try to understand what I am saying. Feel it and dance through it all. Rest and move and rest and move again . All is an eternal dance and you choose the tunes. You really do. What you set your reciever to is what you recieve. Just like a radio. Juice FM or Downbeat Dread ? Sparkle and Space or Beat The Shit Out Of My Brain ? I can go on and on saying the same thing in tens of thousands different ways, yet the message will always be the same. Choose. Act. Then choose again.”
She put the feathery inkpen down. Blew out the candle, opened the window to the winternight. Exhaled a dust of white foam in the starry sky.
She is here. Winter.
Glimmer in her eyes.
Joy in her soul.
Soulfulness.
Glowing breath, sparkle of life.
Winter.
Welcome.
The Star abides in the sky.
The sky in the heart.
The heart is the sky.
The sky is the heart.
The Star its All.
The Silver Grail speaks. Like clear crystal waters.
No bearing.
No beginning.
No end.
Only the eternal Now. This moment where everything matters. Where everything is present. In the no-thing.
Nothing can be broken. Everything is whole. The outer shells can shatter, can leak. The pieces might break in to more pieces. Yet they do not exist. They are fragments of a self which spoke itself in to existence. On the first day of winter.
Let the pieces disperse. Do not gather them. Let the wind blow, let it sweep. Do not hold on to. Open up. Sit. See. Wait.
Let the silence speak, whisper. Listen.
Transmissions of Starlight.
Know your worth.
Cecilia Götherström, Kringlans AdventsKalender 2022
Moon and Star. Star and Moon.
The first language was song.
The first language was light.
Eclectic.
She shone in my shadow and I shone in hers.
Always.
Shadow and Light. Light and Shadow.
Moon and Star. Star and Moon.
Clouds swirling consciously around the unconscious brain. Tides resisting the glow.
The old, the dark, the grey. To be lifted forever.
It will be painful they said.
But what is pain?
It is what you feel when you don’t shine your light.
Star and Moon. Moon and Star.
The crescent uncovered. The sparkle looking down, connecting.
Clouds dancing.
Cold, yet not cold enough.
Wet, murky, rotten.
Waiting for the true embrace bywinter.
Will it come? Will it ever come again?
The magic of sparkle.
Of the here and now.
Of taking new direction while simultaneously being direction.
Moon and Star. Star and Moon.
Sharing the same sky, the same heavens. Being light. Being song. Being magic. Being direction. Being.
Being Star. Being Moon.
The first language is still song. The first language is still light.
Moon and Star. Stars and Moon.
Like pearls being born through filigree silver and Milky Way woven grandeur, like horses and unicorns swooshing through the green clouds of the Northern Lights with its purple shades dancing above the snow covered peaks and steppes, Moon and Star dance through the dark velvet seeing All and Every-thing.
Sometimes the shadows come out to make sure you remember.
Star and Moon. Moon and Star.
Always remember.
Always.
Live now.
The sun sets and rises.
The moon travels.
The Star adorns.
The Trinity.
Sun. Moon. Star.
This is the tale of Moon and Star. This is the season of no stone left unturned. This is the time of your ripe uncovering.
Sun. Moon. Star.
Sun is Star.
Star is Sun.
Moon is reflection.
Star and Moon. Moon and Star.
What will be will be.
What is, is.
Cecilia Götherström, Kringlans AdventsKalender 2022
If I am really honest, in my heart of hearts I
will soar like a bird,
touching the snow covered mountain tops.
I will run downhill
paws deep in the mud,
grass
and moss
like a wolf,
chased by the wind, embraced by
moving space,
scents, a whiff
on a hunt
not for food but
for play,
for life,
for joy.
If I am really honest, in my heart of hearts I
will sing to the dawn, dance
in the shadows of morning
and eve.
I will not
succumb to this mediocre
numbness of
sitting
not to be sitting but
to be seated
where someone put you.
If I am really honest,
in my heart of hearts there is
no resistance,
no pull,
no push,
no tug,
no moving,
without purpose.
Like a reed in the wind,
its movement its purpose.
If I am really honest,
in my heart of hearts I will
throw out all the blankets,
the cushions,
the pillows and
their safety-nets.
In there, in my heart of hearts
is she,
her,
it,
them,
this,
whatever opens,
whatever closes
holding a candle,
enjoying the flickering of the
light,
the wind,
the rain,
the snow,
the sea,
the cold,
the sun,
the wintery, wintery skies.
If I am really honest, in my heart
of hearts
that mountaintop
is my home,
those woods my
backyard, my pantry
that river, my blood.
I sit there,
having chosen
to sit there
myself.
I live there.
Having chosen to live there
myself.
I breathe there,
having chosen to be there,
myself
In my heart of hearts.
Cecilia Götherström, April 23rd 2022
“When the full moon dances in its own light. When its shadow pulls the breath of slivering starlight. When the omens and signs are one and the same. When the exhalation of the pine trees is your sleep, your lingering moments of trust. That is when the moonstone sings to you my child”.
Nejla recognized the lingering song with her heart. It had been spoken before, not too long ago. It touched her soul-strings.
The sun was at its highest in the sky. The longest night and the shortest day was casting long shadows here at midday. Dawn had presented itself earlier in between the waning full moon and the rising sun. Moments of magic, of twilight, of choice as the day broke in to being.
Nejla stood on the plains of the upper ranges, soup-mug in hand, viewing the vast open spaces surrounding her. Every breath up here this time of year created visible mist. Humans rarely ventured up here anymore. They just could not be bothered to take the arduous trek through The Valley of Thorns.
She watched the sun gently moving towards the mountain tops. Soon it would take its dive behind the peaks and the Aurora would be swooshing in.
Rick was gathering all the dogs. This morning they had all gone on a “walking expedition” so that the dogs could have a well-deserved rest after two weeks of constant day treks,.
Luca the Labrador and Ricky’s husky pack Thor, Kabir, Storm, Wolfie and Saint had taken the lead. Jumping, digging, rolling around in the snow like they were still puppies. The joy rubbed off instantly.
Nejla and “The Crew” – her pack with the dear husky Starlight, the super strong and cuddly Malamute Tuva and the joyful Samoyed Kriya – had tried their best to get Maddy the Magnificent out of her comfortable space in the cargo basket, but the black cat had refused to leave her view place. Off they’d gone without Maddy, jumping, rolling, digging along.
Now it was time for rest. Everyone together around the fire.
A bit higher up to their left Alabasters pack of wolves were resting. Even higher up to the right Snowflakes pack of snow leopards were just waking up, gently stretching and yawning.
“What defines and adventurer I wonder?”, Nejla looked at Starlight.
“It’s not dramatic, it’s subtle.” Starlight replied. “Someone who walks”.
“Just drop it, move on. Change course”, she on the other side of the veil added.
“There are doorways, there are bridges, there are walls. You can break them, run or climb them or you can choose. Choose to listen. To uncover. To align. You can choose to open, to cross, to disintegrate through gentleness.” Starlight continued. “It is not dramatic, it is subtle. Where you go from here is up to you. Your heart is connected. Always. Remember – breath is the doorway, silence is the answer.”
Nejla put her mug down in the snow. Ricky did the same.
“Uncover! Uncover! Uncover! Be!” she took another breath. “Embrace! Embrace! Embrace! Align!” She stood where she stood. Just stood.
Snow under her feet, wilderness in her heart. Huskies, wolves, malamutes, cats, dragons, labradors, snow leopards, samoyeds, friends, stars, songs and winter storms. Nejla was home. Aligned. Her heart was full. She exhaled.
Elsa opens her book of magic. The pages of the book allowing her to follow it all simultaneously.
Her humans love connecting them all through the threads of gold.
Disa and the Wind Dragons moving north.
Nejla, Ricky, Starlight, Tuva, Kriya, Maddy, Thor, Kabir, Storm and Wolfie leaving their sleep as the Fire Dragons carry the light of the morning sun their way, tickling their eyes. It will be time for them to move further north in a short while.
Alabaster leaving the valley behind, heading north, back to the upper ranges.
Isa, the spark of Isness, residing in all places at once, her light the strongest in the North disguised as the North Star.
Starlight, perching at the opening of the Northern Cave. The Queen of Snowleopards watching the storm clouds coming in as the rest of her pack move further inside the cave.
Watching them all moving, Elsa paints a picture, sending a message through to Nejla.
“You will need to be the one changing your energetic signature. Taking charge of it. Only you. Remember as well, you might want to begin by noticing how you move through space. What you leave in your backwaters. What is emanating out through your backwaters. How you meet the current in front. Intent is your strongest key.”
Elsa takes a deep breath, continues. “The resonance you leave behind becomes your energetic signature in that space in time in that moment. And we all know now that time is a spiral. Which is why you can travel back – or forwards – to places, spaces, dimensions and times to change the energetic signature you deposited there as well as intend – aka program – the energetic signature of what you want to call in.”
“See! That’s what I told you!” Nejla hears Isa’s voice dancing in the skies. “Magic is a choice!”
Elsa closes the book. She knows she can always play the music, her song, on the heartstrings with or without the book. She just likes opening it up once in a full moon to have a physical overview.
Alabaster hears a gentle song, philligraphing its way up through the crevasses of the upper ranges glacier. “Elsa’s song!” His heart skips a beat. His paws feel younger. He moondances his way the last kilometre towards his packs resting grounds. Being welcomed by their glimmering eyes in the winter night.
“Elsa is singing!”, one of the pups is jumping with excitement, placing himself in between Alabasters front paws. “It’s Elsa’s Song, dad! Elsa’s Song!”
As the sun is rising over the suburb and the castle walls, spreading its morning fire over the rooftops, she speaks gently with a whisper from within her very being.
“Look at all the gold”, she says. “It is dancing on the street, in my fur, inside your heart.It is dancing within our connection”.
I see it. I really do see it!
Thanking her, I reach down to her height, gently caressing one of her ears. Soft, gingerbread scented, furry red and white ears. She speeds up a bit. Time to go home. There is always a snack and a cuddle after the morning walk so it is time to get the priorities straight. As we cross the street full of stressful morning commuters she slows down again. She speaks.
“Infuse a bit of sacredness in to everything you do, into every act.” She smiles and speeds up again.
“Sacredness is the key to so many doors”, Starlight explains as Nejla, The Crew, Maddy, Ricky, Luca & The Pack are in anything but a hurry getting everything sorted for the days trek. They are all enjoying the fresh morning air, the rising sun, the warm open fire crackling, the coffee & porridge scent, the dried meat and fish for the four leggeds, and basically just sharing space. Hanging out. In a way it feels like they don’t need to go anywhere, yet the adventure spirit is tugging to move on. Just a bit ahead. Without a real goal. Just to check what is next. While being present with what is.
“I think I just sprinkled my coffee with sacredness”, Nejla jokingly replied.
“I think we just spice every breath with sacredness”, Ricky said while jumping up and down after his dip in the hole he’d made in the ice, initially to fish for the dogs and Maddy.
“Every breath already is sacredness”, Thor the lead dog of Ricky and Luca´s pack barged in, grabbing the last piece of oatmeal porridge left in Nejla’s bowl on the ground. “All you need to do is notice it.”
From in between the trees Alabaster was watching this morning ritual of this “band of relatives” like he´d loving started to refer to them after his last conversation with Snowflake. He was there in the shadows to guide them safely through the Valley of Thorns, which is where they were heading next. It was the only way through to get to the higher ranges.
The mist of transformation had started spreading out from the narrow passage way already.
A small, blue butterfly flew through the air, circling the two sleds.
Alabaster and the pack had moved grounds to the upper ranges. Winter hunting was better here, and peace was at large.
Overlooking the upper ranges was the large massif of the snow leopards.
With this recent shift in to conscious awareness The Snow Leopard Queen had highlighted “the importance of the soul” during every encounter she and Alabaster had. Last time she had added “The importance of healing the soul”.
Alabaster walked the higher grounds, breathing in, breathing out, tuning in to the frequency of Nejla.
Miles away Nejla stood firm om the footboards of the sled, swooshing through the evening air with The Crew alongside Ricky’s team. She could sense the connection coming in. A click in her heart, an urge to stretch her hands.
“Breath is the doorway and silence is the answer. Remember that my Adventurer. That’s it, and that’s all. You have the spell. Breath is the doorway and silence is the answer.”
An image of herself standing in front of a glass covered portal, surrounded by granite peaks, the winter morning skies, gold and silver dust filled air, frozen breath on the doorway, flashed in to Nejla’s mind. She even heard herself speaking the spell out loud.
Slowly, gently, Snowflake the snow leopard queen approached the granite slab where Alabaster was sitting.
“Tell me, Queen Snowflake, about this importance of the soul, of healing the soul.” Alabaster said.
Snowflake sat down next to him, her long tail covering the entire length of the large boulder.
“The importance of the soul”, she replied. “Of healing the soul. Of living from the soul. Of embodying the soul. That is the largest quest of humanity right now. And only we can lead the way here. Us, The Wild Ones. True wilderness is true connection. We are the healers of the broken souls. I am relieved she is on her way here. With all her friends. All the soul pieces which are one. All the aspects of the diamond merkabah.”
The call of the first starling braided itself through the air. The clouds vanished. The bright winter sun creating diamond crust on the ground.
Ricky and Nejla were busy getting the sleds ready for the trip. The Crew were eager to get going. The five older huskies pulling Ricky and Luca’s sled sparkled with anticipation. The group of starlings were belting out their regular lunch serenade right after the morning one. They just kept on going.
“Gorgeous!” Nejla could not help herself. She just had to yell it out. “Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!”
“Oh, yes!” Ricky sounded in. “Gorgeously freaking gorgeous!
Luca the Lab was getting comfortable in Ricky’s sled. Nejla tied the cargo basket closed. It was filled with food for The Crew, her own provisions, backpack and all the regular long distance mushing gear.
Both Ricky and Nejla had inherited their sleds when Ricky’s grandfather and Nejla’s uncle passed. He’d been the most renowned musher and sled-maker in the country. Everyone who were serious about the art of mushing came to grandpa and uncle Ford to learn how to work with “these gentle souls with fierce clarity” as he’d called called “the polar breeds”. The sleds he built were known to be strong, fast and flexible.
Ford had told both Nejla and Ricky that his grandfather’s grandfather had actually learned how to build the sleds from the trolls and the pixies. The fairies and the alves had then taught him how to create the lines. Every sled made had its own Nisse appointed to look after both sled, dogs, food, human connection and more.
A faint sound of “swish, swish” in the snow made Nejla turn her head. A little black cat looked her straight in the eyes. A moment later she graciously jumped over the handle bar and placed herself on top of the cargo basket.
“It’s obvious she’s joining”, Ricky laughed.
It took less than a minute for the cat to make herself comfortable.
“And who are you?” Nejla asked.
“Maddy the Mighty”, the cat replied. “You know you ain’t gonna connect to any dragons with just them dogs. And you know you need dragons! It ain’t gonna work without dragons. So who’d you gonna call? Cat Kingdom! And I’m your representative. Pleasure to connect”.
FlowerOfTheThunderAndLightning 