Saga sits down, places her pen next to her well worn notebook, looks out the window. The breeze is picking up, a gentle snowfall is on its way. You can tell by the slight greying of the sky, by the way the birds are dancing through the air towards the bird feeder, even by the sound of the wind through the kitchen fan.
Why had she not thought about that before? “I am an Architect of Magic”.
“Because through thinking you would never have arrived there. In that space of insight of who you are, of what you are here to share with the world my dear.”
The large, white wolf settles down next to her. The way they share space has always been like something out of this world. From day one.
“ I am an Architect of Magic”, Saga says it out loud again.
“Do you remember that stanza which came to you last year? The one which also begins with “I am”?”
Who is that outside the door? Who is speaking? Saga gets up, walks towards the front door, sensing there is more to who is there than she can imagine. Before her hand touches the door handle she remembers. The strophe rushes in through consciousness like a leaf in the gust.
“I am a Force of Nature. I am Power and Stillness in One!” she yells out as she opens the door.
Alba and Rosie! The two girls laugh, hug and cry at the same time. Rosie runs indoors, howls and performs the regular greeting dances, of course including the “hello I love you awesome to see you let me bite your fur and tug at your neck and throw you to the ground as you throw me to the ground good to see you or did I say that already ” wrestling game with AshWhite.
A few moments later the wolves and humans are gathered in a huge pile on the floor in front of the fireplace, where the open fire for this Midwinter Equinox has been crackling since the early MorningStar hours already. The wind picks up. Large, thick, soft snowflakes are being spun and swirled around in a dance even more intricate than the one the golden sky dragons performed a few days ago. Moonstones and pinecones are laid down on the altar. The four souls are singing together.
I am an Architect of Magic
Fire and Ice I am
Born of Earth and Space
Wild Moon Child I am
I am a Force of Nature
I am Power and Stillness in One
I am an Architect of Magic
Sacred Fierceness the staff
Pinecones and Moonstones the source
of
Space and Earth
of
Earth and Space
of
The Promise of Meru´s Wisdom
I am an Architect of Magic
All that I am is Here
Now
Three words drift through space. Whispered. Mahakash. Mahakash. Mahakash. Seven times.
Reaching for the skies as the wick dies down, curling inwards, imploding
The end of the end of the end.
You see, the light needs to die before it can be reborn. That is what it does. That is what light is. Swallowed by darkness it hides underneath the ground. Germinates. Sprouts.
The darkness cannot be fought. It needs space. It needs to be given space.
You see, eventually darkness will feel so alone that it can do nothing but invite light in. Make space for it. Dance with it. Live with it. Mix with it. Mingle.
The light needs to die to be re-born. Darkness is the space where the light grows. Without darkness, no rest. Without rest, no movement.
You see, flow is what happens in the space between two points, two destinations. Music is what happens in the space between two notes.
Your paws are fully grown. You are everything and nothing like your sisters at all.
What seems to me like a moment on the road to somewhere is for you an eternity of ever newness in one long moment which never passes.
Her soulfulness and joyful presence always pushes right in to my being. I do not know how to not live with her. Where she ends and I begin has dissolved.
Maybe there was never a boundary in the first place.
That little fierce puppiness which shook me awake, took hold of not just socks and toilet paper rolls but of lives, of relationships, of the senses where the inner beings meet. That.
“When you focus on separateness, that is what you get”, she says with all her being. “When you listen to the play of movement, that is what you live with”.
“The agenda might be full, but the heart cup is being filled through other means. When you put that one on top of the list watch what happens. Listen inwards. Then observe.”
The guidance from within seems to overflow as we are entering this time of guided light. Enveloped by the dark wintery skies, displaying its dance of Aurora Borealis more and more often, the Star in the Heart sparkling ever brighter, as the milky way pathway lights up, Orion, Ursa Major and many more pulsate with their brightness. This is how we enter in to the arms of the one Mother, the one Father, being held.
December.
December paws. Touching snow. Touching a promise.
Touch.
Touching the infinite being.
Through the heart.
“How do you touch through the heart?”, I hear a giggling whisper. “That is the practice. That is the exploration”.
Because Sirius had been calling her since just before The Gentle One left. Since The North Star left even. Sirius. The Dog Star. Just before The Star In The Heart arrived it had called even louder.
A Trinity of Stars.
Sirius, a binary star system. Binary meaning “a whole composed of two”, according to the dictionary. Two stars orbiting around each other, bound by the same gravitational pull. Like the dance of infinity. Two huge lights merging. Surrounded by what is often mistaken as a rift, as darkness. When it actually is vast space, pure beingness, potentiality, flow, growth, fertility.
A Trinity of Stars.
“Look up and look out at Sirius. See yourself as if you are observing from there. Let North Star and South Star meet. Take the chance. Take every chance. Every change as a chance. It’s that turning of the diamond reflection a few degrees. Say “Today I choose a different course, a slight adjustment of navigation. Because I want to see where it takes me. Where the horizon meets the sea of space in the heart. Where resistance meets walls. And then I can change again. A small adjustment. Navigating from The Star in The Heart. On the course this circle of light, oneness and infinity is taking.” ”
Sirius.
Polstjärnan.
The Star in The Heart.
Trinity looked south. She knew for the first time that she did not have to choose north or south. All she needed to do was choose The Star in The Heart.
We went into the woods to be baptized by the trees. Over and over again. Bowing under ash, dancing under cedar, reaching for oak, hiding under willow, laughing with pine, sitting under beech, healing through birch, cocooning under elm. Every breath a baptism.
Do you remember how the trees actually found us? You wanted to head for the ocean and I pulled you towards the trees. Do you remember biking under them to get to the open fields? I sang to make you stop and sense them there right underneath their canopy.
Do you remember how their leaves turned yellow, bright, red, golden, orange ? Like they showed us the multidimensionality of every single essence which grows. The sides which turn in the wind and look different from every direction.
Do you remember them bearing fruit? And how every new entry to ,and every exit out of , the woods had its ritual of me devouring at least one of those fruits?
Do you remember that there is actually not a lot to remember aside from that we were, we are, together? That it was how our journey together started? And it will never end. As it is a journey on a thread of many journeys. Might feel like it has a beginning and an end, yet all it has is a continuity. A continuity of that which holds it. Life. Light. Power. The Force.
Do you remember driving through all the trees to find me? To pick me up? How it felt like home once you entered the pine forests? How you loved the birches, ashes, oaks et al and that love turned to passion and homecoming when the pines started lining the road?
That is the continuity I want you to follow.
The continuity of the continuity of space, passion, life. You. Trinity. Power, Stillness and Presence. Smack right in the continuity of Space, Passion and Life.
If that ain’t an instruction for the New Chapter, I don’t know what is. And I, I know everything. I am Starlight.
Trinity stood knee-deep in the freshly fallen snow underneath the winter sky. Her journey south had come to a halt three days earlier. It had taken her some time, quite some exhaustion and elaborate thinking until she had realized that this is it. Presence. If you cannot physically go, you stay.
13 candles encircled her, 14 winds started dancing around her, the drums were beating to the rhythm of 15 heartbeats.
“You cannot be who you are not. You cannot sing someone else’s song. It’s too expensive. You do pay for it. In soul-sparkles. And your soul-sparkles are low. You are in dire need of some repair and re-fill. You are in dire need of Star-light.”
Trinity looked up. This sky was a little different from the one she had looked up at only moments before.
“Where you are now is your ground zero. Where it all begins. Just let it begin”, the grandmotherly voice kept sharing.
“Don’t look for home. Your home is with me. I am Starlight. I am. 13 candles will light the way. 14 winds will speak your name. 15 heartbeats is the only distance from here to Love, from here to Sparkle, from here to Power, Stillness and Presence. 13, 14, 15 is your code to the next key-lock my dear. Welcome. Welcome.”
A strange kind of peace rolled over her. It was time to take centre stage in her own life, in her own story.
Monday.
12-12-22.
Let me sing you
the song
of
Mondays
of new beginnings,
of moon,
of new,
and beginnings
I mean,
have there ever been
old beginnings?
Just saying…
You see,
for something
to begin
something
else
must end
Yet
it’s all actually
one
long thread of
now’s.
It’s all in how
you
see
it
Division?
or
Connection?
both in the
same
coin
Before
ends
Now
begins
yet
all is
Now
Every day,
every moment
has
its own
energy
Notice it,
you only can
when
you hear
the
Now
Do you hear it?
Now
Now
Now
No dreaming,
just being
No pining,
just soaking
Now
Now
Now
All there is
Now
Starlight
Now
Let me sing to you
the song of
Mondays
Your beginnings
your endings
your now’s
Your Star-light.
This.
Is.
It.
Presence,
Power,
Stillness
Starlight.
This.
Cecilia Götherström, Kringlans AdventsKalender 2022
FlowerOfTheThunderAndLightning 