In my heart of hearts I

Akasha

In my heart of hearts I
hear music
sing to my soul

In my heart of hearts I
am music

In my heart of hearts I
spill in to the world of creation
like a brittle waterfall,
a whiskering wind,
like a tone of love,
of wildness,
of quaking wisdom
shivering out of my bones

In my heart of hearts I
know who I am

In my heart of hearts I
melt into the mother,
become the father

In my heart of hearts I
am the speck of oneness,
the soul who is the muse,
the giver of joy,
simultaneously

In my heart of hearts,
there is no stopping me,
No boundaries,
no beginning,
no ending,
in my heart of hearts

In my heart of hearts I
look deep into the brown-yellow eyes
of the enormous white wolf
in the mirror
looking back at me,
eyes full of tenderness,
eyes full of knowing,
soul full of worship

In my heart of hearts I
come home
to who I am,
to who I was,
to who I am to be,
simultaneously.

Cecilia Götherström, Nov 5th 2015
Thank you Roger Housden for the writing prompt!

Rich

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I am rich.

Rich beyond belief,
beyond fathom, I am.

I am because I am rich.

Mother provides for me,
Father keeps me safe,
Brother nurtures me,
Sister sings to me.

Earth is what I am,
what I walk upon,
what lives inside my soul.

Sky is what breathes,
Soil is what bleeds,
Wind is what feels.

Rich I am.

All that I am,
is all that You are.

Star family, Earth family.

Rich I am.

Walk I do.

Forever and ever.
In the Richness of Plenty.

“Did you love today?” she asks before
she gently susses me to sleep.

“Were you grateful today?” he asks when
he closes the velvet around me.

“Did you live today? Live like life itself?”
they ask as they sing me away.

Dawn and dusk.
Dusk and dawn.

Creation.
Gratitude.
Breath.

Did you love today?

I did.

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Cecilia Götherström, June 21st 2015

I am sorry House

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I am sorry House,
that I could not love you.

My heart was closed,
too busy holding on to pieces,
already broken
I was.

I could not see,
your tender care,
your solid hold,
you doing what you do best,
shelter.

I could not feel
warm, ancient soil
underneath my feet
lifting pine trees to the sky
welcoming crystal white covers
to carry us into the depths of the woods
in the company of ravens, eagles, moose and myths.

I was not hearing
the soaring air,
the speaking winds,
the soft whispers of comfort,
the Soul of the land
speaking to my broken soul.

My heart could smell,
could touch the sun,
could caress the moon,
sing with wolves and wonders
– but not under your roof.

I am sorry House,
for not living
while I inhabited your space.

I am sorry House,
for just grieving
in your warm arms.

I am sorry Mountain,
for loving you more
than I love myself,
for finding life, joy, wonder and purpose
on your hilltops.

I am sorry Mountain,
for capturing your soul into mine,
for the bliss of oneness
which only you know.

I am sorry Mountain,
that I cannot live that gift, that passion
for now and ever after more.

If anyone will ever ask,
I shall say;
The Mountain holds my Soul.

Cecilia Götherström, May 7th 2015

Blog5

Path of this warrior

Today I had a thrust of inspiration to start this blog.

The inspiration did not come out of nowhere, though the thrust did.

Warriorship has followed and intrigued me my whole life, as far back as I can remember .Or I could also call it a constant fascination with and an attraction towards warriorship – be it the Samurai, the Shaolin Monks of Kung Fu Shaolin, the Haka, the Bhagavad Gita, Yoda of Starwars even.

What has drawn me in the most has had nothing to do with fighting, but all to do with presence, perserverance, a sense of deep seated wisdom, of purpose , of belonging and knowing. Of standing “your ground”, knowing it is actually “the ground” which you are part of.

A strength not merely physical, but omnipresent.

The road to this day, to the beginning of this first aware step on this path has been long, diverse and winding.

Just like the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali begins with “atha yoga anusasanam” – where “atha” stands for “now” and the complete sutra is saying “now, the instruction of yoga” – I feel, for the first time, that I am standing ready, somewhat prepared, almost thrusted forwards to walk this path.

“Atha yoga anusasanam” – these words are spoken to us by Patanjali for the moment after the student has done all the preparations necessary to embark down to path to really learn and receive the instructions of yoga.

“Atha” – the real path of this warrior begins now .

How auspicious one might say that I was presented with this thrust of inspiration today, the very day I had finished quite a process of clearing out old garbage and finally felt a tad bit cleaner .

The very day I had finally in my heart understood the essence of one of my favourite passages of the Bhagavad Gita which goes “Set thy heart upon thy work , but never on its reward. Work not for a reward , but never cease to do thy work”.

The very day I for the first time completely understood with every fibre of my being the essence of the saying “All that exists is the Now, this very moment. Nothing else exists, nothing else is real”.

The very day I thought I found the root to Joy, to Being, to just live in the Now, to do my work whatever that may be at that very moment.

That today, would also be the day of my first attending the Stay Away/Krav Maga course.

“Atha”/Now, as part of the first step on the “path of this warrior”, I was being presented with the information on how the workings of our “day-to-day-programmed-for-survival-and-what-we-call-social-interaction-minds” really should be interpreted through a clear looking-glass . How the “predator – prey” jungle out there, which we call daily life, actually works.

Oh, how many, if not all, situations laid out I recognized from my own life, my own personality – and we all did, as they were everyday situations to start with.

How it made me see situations, conversations and interactions from a completely different angle, many from an almost complete opposite view.

A warrior’s view sees all, without attachment. There is no judgment, just knowing.

In the Bhagavad Gita the mind is pictured as the battlefield by many commentators, and life as the battlefield by others. But what is the difference between life and mind?

Mind interprets life.

Life programs mind.

The warrior sees from “behind” the mind.

The very clear instruction in this Stay Away/Krav Maga course today started with seeing “behind” what we call life. Behind the mind.

To do that, the instruction was to understand “the mind” of the other person in connection with your own mind and vice versa.

The battlefield, once again.

The confrontations with “myself” were many this first lesson.

Some situations mentioned took me back to a past when things really went wrong, but then came “it does not exist anymore, all that exists is Now” back in.

Standing up for myself and holding my space felt extremely awkward at first, not helped by the fact that I know, and am fond of, all three instructors – but then came “set thy heart upon thy work…” And my work was to learn what was being taught in that moment.

So, the second trembling step on this path was taken.
“Atha” is now behind me.
The journey has begun.

I salute my fellow travellers.

A-ho.

March 13th 2014

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